


never had this kind of thing before

by celaenos



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, One Shot, post ep 49
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-29
Updated: 2019-01-29
Packaged: 2019-10-19 01:01:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17591750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celaenos/pseuds/celaenos
Summary: Beau thinks about the look on Nott’s face—one she’s never seen on her mother’s—and she reaches into a pouch and tosses him twenty gold without really thinking about it. Instinct. Like reaching back for Caleb.





	never had this kind of thing before

The arm smacks down onto Beau’s shoulder and she freezes up, for half a second.

Then she quickly lifts her own hand up, unsure, and clasps it down over the top of Caleb’s hand. She hears him breathe out shaky, wet air and continue on with his tale. Beau holds on to him until he pulls away of his own accord, a bit awkward, a bit unsure, but she doesn’t move until he does.

She sucks in a hard breath and apologizes for not hearing what he was trying to tell her yesterday. She can’t quite manage to hold his gaze the whole time as she does it, but it feels good.

In the sense that she feels terrible the whole time, but better once it’s over. Like she’s done something good in the middle of this whole fucked up mess.

Later, once he’s sort of gone off to take a breath and Beau’s gone to find out something that will help Nott (Veth? Is she supposed to be calling her Veth, now?) Beau registers what he did; reaching out to her like that, without Frumpkin. It feels sort of like a punch to the gut, but she’s… happy about it? _Gods, caring about people is hard._ Beau pushes it down, she’s good at that—sometimes—and Nott… Veth… needs her more than Caleb does right now.

…

…

The guy’s name is _Geoff._ Beau rolls her eyes, doesn’t feel all that bad about smacking him on the shoulder and then goes hard once he tells her about Luke. He didn’t have to do that. He coulda saved his own ass but he went back in for the kid.

Nott’s kid.

Beau thinks about the look on Nott’s face—one she’s never seen on her mother’s—and she reaches into a pouch and tosses him twenty gold without really thinking about it. Instinct. Like reaching back for Caleb.

She walks out of the hospital and sees Nott’s disguised face and her goblin face and Luke’s all blurred up together. She pictures her own mother, wonders what her baby brother looks like, now. Maybe there is some asshole named Geoff back in Kamordah who’ll run back into a building for him.

Who is she kidding, her parents actually give a shit this time around. Kid won’t need a Geoff. He’ll have a hundred hired dudes whose job it is to be a Geoff. It doesn’t matter, this isn’t about some baby that Beau has never met, it’s about _Nott._ Beau straightens up her shoulders and heads back to her friends.

…

…

Beau watches both of them carefully as the day goes on. Caleb doesn’t tell everyone the whole truth of things, and Beau watches Jester’s face and Caleb’s face and clamps her mouth shut tight. She made a promise to him and she has intended to keep it since that moment. She shares a look with Nott; or, tries to, but Nott has a million other things on her mind right now.

Beau watches her, too. She watches the way that Nott focuses on Jester, even though she’s probably scared out of her mind right now. Still, Nott focuses on Jester. On the way that her face falls and the way she goes a little quiet and the way that she apologizes for… everyone else’s lives. Beau grits her teeth, listening to Nott telling Jester that her life might get harder, scarier if she sticks around with everyone. Beau crosses her arms and holds her breath as she waits for Jester’s answer.

“I’d like things to be nice again someday,” she says. “But I’m staying.” She looks between Nott and Fjord and then Beau as she says it, and Beau’s chest loosens.

“We could get a place on the beach front,” she says, before she even realizes that she is doing it. “Pull our funds. Retire in Nicodranas.”

Jester’s eyes widen a little and then she smiles at Beau and her chest tightens right back up. Nott catches Beau's eye and looks at her a little oddly, and Beau quickly turns the attention back to her.

“Do you want us to call you Veth now?” she asks.

“Or Vott?” Jester asks, then frowns. 

“Nott, for now,” she decides and Beau nods. In truth, she’s never thought much about her relationship with Nott that seriously until now. She didn’t think knowing that Nott was a mother would change her perspective of her so much. Beau doesn’t really give a shit about what any of them have done or been before they met.

She wants to _know,_ but she doesn’t think it matters much. They’ve all had her back, more than anyone else ever has. But—

Beau turns and looks over at Caleb. He’s not reaching for her now. He’s still here, though. They all are. Beau looks between them: Jester, Fjord, Yasha, Cad, Nott, and Caleb. “The Mighty Nein, made up of seven people, makes no sense. Not the numbers, the name, or the people.”

She turns and looks over at Caleb, catching the smallest of smiles creeping onto his face and her shoulders relax. 


End file.
